I share much less with my social media following than my blog, but today I gave them a little Wednesday Wisdom. I like to let them know what is going on. I like them to understand more about MS. Before I was diagnosed, I did not understand the disease or what it was, and especially what it could do. Many people still don’t. They look at me and think “she looks healthy!” So I like to drop truth bombs every so often. here is what I shared.
I just recently filled my sharps container, again. 3 injections a week, 156 shots a year. 7 spots around my body. For 3.5 years. Reactions have gotten fewer and further between. My disease has been at bay for a while, and I can’t tell you how thankful I am for that.
I share my story for awareness. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I don’t want you to treat me differently. I don’t want you to worry about me. I want you to understand that when I forget something, it is not intentional. I have a brain disease that makes it harder for me to categorize my thoughts sometimes, and I only recently accepted this symptom. I want you to understand that when I cancel plans, I don’t want to. I just get SO tired sometimes, or my face really hurts, or my legs are just numb. I want you to understand that when I get upset, it is probably not with you. I am frustrated that I am tired and frustrated that my face or head hurt and frustrated that I feel like my body is failing me. I want you to understand that if it feels like you don’t have my full attention, I wish I could give it to you. I may not be able to focus, or I may be thinking about the numbness or pain that I have in that moment, trying to listen to my body on if this is something, or nothing. I know I look “normal”. But inside my body is fighting itself every day.
The mental part of this is the worst. The worry of the future, the decisions about treatment, the constantly being too aware of your body and mind, the trying to come to peace with WHY this disease picked me. Somedays it wears you down more than the MS does.
Again, I say this so you know. Not to treat me differently than you would any other person. I may have MS. But MS does not have me!
❤ MS Andrea Jackson