I have stepchildren that are older, so I am very aware that although you have kids at home, traditionally, until 18, you really only have 13-15 years. After that, they become very interested in friends, school activities, video games, etc. They get jobs and have less availability. Then, without even realizing it, you are grasping at the couple hours that you do have with them to squeeze in some quality family time with everyone present. The more kids you have, the harder this task.
My oldest, L1, is now 12, going on 20 some days. He is starting to get that teenager attitude, yet still refuses to admit that he needs more sleep. He is in full blown puberty and has a little baby mustache coming in, wears the same size shoe as me (and I have big feet!), and it won’t be long before he is taller than I am. Internally, I cannot deal.
When we go to Scouts, football games, or other events, he hops out of the car with an “okloveyoubyemom” as if it is one word, sometimes before I even put the car in park! Often, I jokingly beg him to not turn into a teenager on me. My favorite is when he has his little “too cool for school teenager attitude”, and I VERY dramatically say “Nooooooooooooooooooo! Don’t do it! Don’t turn into a teenager on me, PLEEEEAAAASSEEEEEEE!!! Noooooo!”. Even that, which used to yield a laugh, then later a slight smirk, is now getting the eyerolls vibes.
Don’t get me wrong, this kid loves me. And we are very close, but he is becoming more independent, and the unwanted/unneeded help and advice that I cannot stop myself from giving is becoming annoying. I am bracing for impact, because I know that he will, in fact, be a literal teenager in 10 months, and I will have to continually figure out how to let go and let God more and more with him. As if that is not bad enough, three and a half years later, I will have to go through this all again, with a completely different (in SO many ways) child, and the baby of the family!
Last night I was reminded just how quickly this will go. I drove across town to buy a box of HotBox Cookies for my family. L2 and I planned a fun family event, super last minute, involving games and an epic dance party (spoiler alert, What do you Meme and Scattegories were a blast, but everyone would eventually refuse to participate in the dance portion of the evening). I did this because I feel like we are all only together at dinner time. Otherwise, kids are spread out throughout the house reading, playing (sometimes together, sometimes alone), building Legos, whatever.
The cookies were planned to get everyone in the same room where we would surprise attack them with the itinerary of the evening’s activities. And it worked! Except one little stinker, our senior, who has suddenly become very interested in working out. He opted out of all the events because he had planned to workout. I could not believe it. I was already suspicious about his newly found desire for a regular workout routine. In the last two weeks he has suddenly started working out daily. I know this because he comes over EVERY DAY to use our home gym. To go from zero workouts, to working out daily, to refusing to eat fresh Hotbox Cookies because you want to workout….. we feel there might be a girl on his mind, which takes us to an entirely new level of kids trying to grow up on us!
I thought the terrible twos and threes were hard, yet I have this looming feeling that the real chaos and tugs on my heart strings are yet to come.
