Tonight something really hilarious happened that I still can’t think about without laughing.
My sons school had ‘Get the Scoop’ night. I walk in and head straight to his class. I was a little early, which is out of character for me, but I am working on it. They had dream jars posted in the hallway. So I am searching and reading the funny things like “my dream is to be a cop” or “I dream of endless ice cream” and find L1 who writes “My dream is to ride a dragon”
THAT’S MY KID!
That’s not the funny part, while I’m reading these a man standing beside me reading as well passes gas. I mean loud. I wanted to look at him but I knew I couldn’t control my facial expression. Then it hit me, it smelled like a dead animal. What the?! Seconds later he got called into the classroom. So I am left in the hallway alone at this point. Well not alone because his freaking fart was still there. So I’m trying to figure out where to go because I can’t stand there anymore, but if I go too far from class I might miss my meeting, so I decide to walk just a couple doors down.
As soon as I turn to walk I see kinderdad (that’s what I call the guy I dated briefly last year before realizing our kids were in kindergarten together) and he is with us ex wife and kids, heading down the hall toward me. What the hell. It is for sure going to look like I made this awful smell. Do I leave? Will that look worse? Does it even smell anymore? Yes it does. Shit! How embarrassing. I am in instant panic mode. So I just sat down in the chair in front of my door and pull out my phone. Zero eye contact with anyone. Like I am balls deep in the most important email of my life or something. Then my phone rings, Thank God! Someone to talk to!
Kinderdad sat down with his kids and ex wife just a couple chairs away (remember from previous post, they go to everything together even though they are split. He’s a great dad, and it seems they coparent well together) I glanced over once on accident while on the phone, made eye contact and quickly turned away. Why am I so awkward? I don’t care what this person thinks about me. I don’t really want to have a conversation, but I have no reason to avoid it. Will she think I’m crazy if I talk to them. Ugh! This is annoying. It is 100% me that makes this shit so weird for myself.
Finally the teacher calls my name and I basically race her in the door. I was a little off my game because I didn’t know who else in the hall way thought I was the culprit. But in the end, I really don’t care. We had a great meeting about my big guy and after I got to enjoy ice cream with L1! (well, watch him enjoy it. I think I can’t do dairy) and we had such a fun night. I forgot about the stinky predicament I was in earlier for a while but have laughed about it multiple times tonight.
Update: turns out kinderdad didn’t catch wind 😹 of the situation. He text me to give me a hard time about not speaking to him. So I can show my face at school again.
