Today I had a small breakthrough in my life as a divorced woman. My ex sent money (above and beyond child support that he pays every month) to help with all the extra expenses that have been going on lately! I mean, I would have been fine, but it’s been a slightly stressful couple weeks financially. And then baseball. And basketball. And school fundraising. And medical bills. It just all came at once. I got a little emotional when I got the text message I had received money.
I remember him saying something a long time ago about wanting to help more, and so I finally thought “well this would be the time to ask” but fully expecting it to not happen. After all, it’s the way we have always done it. He gets the flat rate expense, and I pick up everything else.
It made me really wonder if there is ever true 50/50 parenting. I mean, I know plenty of people who physically do split the time evenly, but it seems impossible to ever make it financially equal. I would hate to be the person tallying every single little bill and trying to collect half of it on a monthly basis. But I suppose some people are so bitter they do it. I’m thankful we aren’t like that.
Sure, I spend leaps and bounds more on my kids than my ex. But I also get to spend ALL the time with them. It is beyond worth it. And when he sent me money today he said “it’s the least he could do.” I know he finally starting to realize how hard it is not only financially, but also emotionally and mentally. These kids are wild, strong willed, and sometimes downright awful. But I love them more than anything.
You can’t put a price on the time with them. I don’t understand how the courts determine that, but today I am thankful for it. And thankful to be coparenting with someone who is finally realizing how much I give. It makes parenting easier when you have support, even from across the globe.
I am also thankful that I finally recognized that I don’t have to do it all alone. I have always embraced the “too proud to beg” thing, but why? I CAN do it. But it isn’t fun being financially tight. So why not take up someone who would, in a “normal” situation, be helping with all of this anyway.
Cheers to being able to enjoy AND afford all the sports that are in my future. When L2 starts school and sports, it’s going to get realllllly interesting.
❤ MS Andrea Jackson
